Why can't I forgive certain things?
I have forgiven the dog which bit my own chihuahua Bruiser to death, but of course... animals are innocent and dogs behavior is just an reflection of the owners.
I have forgiven close persons for making me go through traumatic things and for being really mean to me. I even have forgiven myself for actually, some quite big things.
But why can't I forgive certain things, which are much smaller? Maybe it is because it is so many of them? And the person haven't apologized and shown any remorse, guilt or at least given a small gesture of trying to mend what's been hurt? Usually I would call myself a pussy (watched OZ too much maybe) for something like this, but damn it pisses me off!!!
When somebody judge and critize a person which they do not really know is so freaking ignorant, stupid and immature. Why don't they realize that? Some people would judge me for my imperfect grammar. Others for me taking photos of myself. Others for me liking manga. Others for my liking of curvy big boobed women. Others for me finding skinny guys most attractive. Others for me speaking about clothes or sharing my art with pride? Judging me, for everything I do on the internet, because I do not piss my anxiety and deepest pain all over like a vomiting diary? There are so many blogs out there which are plain outspoken suicide-propaganda.
I have been judged because I focus on fun stuff like this instead of writing about my problems. I am very open with what is going on and what I've been through. I just don't feel like focusing on shit and tragedy. I can channel those needs into my art and when I write my books. I understand the need for sharing your thoughts and pain with others but when it just develope into a one-way empathy, that is when it gets wrong.
What can we really do about these people? Because, if you start sharing your feelings with them, they immediately get that panic in their eyes, flustering for you to shut up so they can talk again. But this really isn't an old issue, right? Bitter people, full of bad memories and shattered expectations being constantly mortified by only growing older and older but not getting anywhere... they hate the light, they hate the sun, they hate everything that shines and breaths happiness. They do not want to hear that this person who seems happy actually experience a lot of pain and sorrow. Because... what does that say about themselves?
I can't deal with that kind of person. I've met people who cling onto any ray of hope so they may manage, if only, just a little longer. So don't shit on people just because they stay quiet. It is most often those kind of people who just disappear someday. So stop belittle easy-going people with obsessive interests as if they were clueless idiots. You do not know anything about them, except that they seem happier than you. That you may be right about. Happiness isn't about what you are going through, been through or going to go through... it's a state of mind and you can make yourself more happy, at least less unhappy if you focus on constructive and fun things. That is what I believe and have done. Instead of judging a person by its happiness... maybe it's better to ask for their helping hand and advice. Maybe you'll discover they've been through the same thing a long time ago and have a lot more answers than you at the moment.
Although, some people don't want to be helped. I can't forgive that. I know, it's an issue I have. But I can't believe that the person who does that actually wants to be happy. Rather, I feel like they want to taint the whole world with their own sorrow and pain and anger, and they hate you for not being affected by it. And when they can't even appreciate the people around them anymore, this is where it reaches the last point for me, and I give my only and final judgement...
When somebody judge and critize a person which they do not really know is so freaking ignorant, stupid and immature. Why don't they realize that? Some people would judge me for my imperfect grammar. Others for me taking photos of myself. Others for me liking manga. Others for my liking of curvy big boobed women. Others for me finding skinny guys most attractive. Others for me speaking about clothes or sharing my art with pride? Judging me, for everything I do on the internet, because I do not piss my anxiety and deepest pain all over like a vomiting diary? There are so many blogs out there which are plain outspoken suicide-propaganda.
I have been judged because I focus on fun stuff like this instead of writing about my problems. I am very open with what is going on and what I've been through. I just don't feel like focusing on shit and tragedy. I can channel those needs into my art and when I write my books. I understand the need for sharing your thoughts and pain with others but when it just develope into a one-way empathy, that is when it gets wrong.
What can we really do about these people? Because, if you start sharing your feelings with them, they immediately get that panic in their eyes, flustering for you to shut up so they can talk again. But this really isn't an old issue, right? Bitter people, full of bad memories and shattered expectations being constantly mortified by only growing older and older but not getting anywhere... they hate the light, they hate the sun, they hate everything that shines and breaths happiness. They do not want to hear that this person who seems happy actually experience a lot of pain and sorrow. Because... what does that say about themselves?
I can't deal with that kind of person. I've met people who cling onto any ray of hope so they may manage, if only, just a little longer. So don't shit on people just because they stay quiet. It is most often those kind of people who just disappear someday. So stop belittle easy-going people with obsessive interests as if they were clueless idiots. You do not know anything about them, except that they seem happier than you. That you may be right about. Happiness isn't about what you are going through, been through or going to go through... it's a state of mind and you can make yourself more happy, at least less unhappy if you focus on constructive and fun things. That is what I believe and have done. Instead of judging a person by its happiness... maybe it's better to ask for their helping hand and advice. Maybe you'll discover they've been through the same thing a long time ago and have a lot more answers than you at the moment.
Although, some people don't want to be helped. I can't forgive that. I know, it's an issue I have. But I can't believe that the person who does that actually wants to be happy. Rather, I feel like they want to taint the whole world with their own sorrow and pain and anger, and they hate you for not being affected by it. And when they can't even appreciate the people around them anymore, this is where it reaches the last point for me, and I give my only and final judgement...
You do not deserve to be happy...
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