Lina Pilgrim

As I sat in a rocking chair on my boyfriends parents porch, I started to NOT think. Instead, I focused with all my might on all of the sounds I could hear. The whooshing wind and the distant sounds of cars and the birdsong up in the oaks above. I started to hear more distant sounds, small, tiny sounds of people, different things and dogs. I felt how extremely blocked my ears really are... and I continued for quite some time. After a while my ears started to react weirdly to my voice. As I was talking to my boyfriend who came out of the garage, I felt the pressure in my ears weaken. When he left, I started to focus on my sight as well. The blurriness cleared a little after a while, and as I let my brain rest and just let the senses work, I started to feel like a child again. So present and relaxed, and the time slowed down, and somehow, everything felt more and more real most importantly. 

The only thing I couldn't control was the pressure on top of my head. It is constant, more or less. I've heard that spot is a chakra which connects to the divinity. I am a little more scientifical in my nature, so I kind of think that spot is an important binding of my muscles, and the pressure I feel is my energy being blocked. I do believe in energy, everything is about energy. And as I learned in my scienceclass, energy can never disappear... it can only transform. One other thing which makes me believe in the importance of bodily energy is the fact that almost everbody can see their energy if they hold their fingertips closely together. Mine is a little stronger than usual so I sometimes get a little disturbed by looking at other people, as their energy is so damn bright against a white background. I watched a new teacher in school and he had a blue hue around him. But then again, it might be that I feel more pressure outside so my eyes starts to see colours, which is enhanced against a white bakcground. But still... but still... seeing is not believing. Hearring is not believing either. So what do I know about anything, really? What do we really know about if we haven't come up with the right tools to measure it?

I don't know... all I know right now is that I have a head ache, need dinner and is starting to feel sleepy from the aspirin.